Tuesday 3rd of March
“MUM I’M OFF TO WORK” I yell to her. I go out to my car and start the engine, about 1 km from home a sign catches my eye but I take no notice of it. Then about 20 minutes after I past the sign all of a sudden my iPhone starts FLOATING! what is going on I say, how is my iPhone FLOATING. I pull over, then my water bottle starts floating, and my iPhone charger to. A voice starts talking to me. I DON’T THINK YOU READ THE SIGN. Did I have to read the sign?
Kia ora from New Zealand Caelin.
Gosh this was quite difficult to read in this bright colour as it blends in with the white background. We like the way that you began your piece with some dialogue, but feel a little confused about why things are floating in your car. Perhaps you could try to make sure you end your thinking in the future. Also, you have not used the prompt.
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Ms M #100WC
hey caelin,
U did really good u used the prompt very well besides changing it up a bit hopefully that wont matter.
Its a really good story, I like the idea the floating iphone its really mysterious and makes u wonder how it floats.
Good job caelin.
Thanks Morgan 😊
Hi! it’s Evan here, the words in the story were pretty bright it might be a bit better in black, grey, red, blue or purple because they are all darker colours. although i think it doesn’t need to be a phone charger it could be some thing like, a hat, sunglasses, even your hair standing on end. so theirs a few things well done
– Evan Clark
Thanks Evan for the comment I’ll use the ideas for my next story’s.
CAELIN 😊